Can't Holding

After a year I ended our (un)special relationship with him, I've never contacted him again.
I thought that it will be easier to forget him.
Maybe he didn't agree with my mind at that time.

Time passed, finally I forgot him.
I didn't care about him anymore.
Feels like, "This is my life and you have your ownI always thought that I never have a relationship with him.

A year ago, he's my special person in my life.
He wasn't my boyfriend or something like that. He's my brother.
Everytime I wondered that I could have a brother. older brother.
I wanted to feel when a brother protects her sister.

Until I met him. I never knew what kinda boy he was.
Actually he's a serious boy, oh-- I mean, he's funny but he's serious too!

Short story, one day I said that I wanna have a brother.
Then he asked me to be his sister!
I was too happy at that time.
He said that he'll protects and loves me, but he cant does it everytime.
Finally, I agreed with his mind, cause I thought he's a good boy and he'll be a good brother too.
And he was my brother.

Yogyakarta - January 2008.
I celebrated my 13th birthday in Yogya with my bog family.
My 13th bday wasn't too great. I still opened my eyes till 00.25 am
I received many messages.
And of course, that boy, my brother was the first person who congrulated to me.
After that finally I slept and got 26 sms.
He always sent me messages everyday.

Jakarta - January 2008
That boy liked my friend. Gue yang bikin mereka jadian.
But, finally they ended their relationship on their 23th days. Because of me.

March 2008
Closer. My relationship with him was closer after they ended their relat.
But I thought it didn't like brother&sister, cause he started to be IdontUnderstandWithHim boy.
He called me something that he should says to his girlfriend.
He was too care to me.
Made me wish. Made me feel comfortable.

May 2008
I ended my relationship with him. You know why? Hahaha
He lied to me. Brengsek deh! ahahaha
He made me love him, he made me wish. But suddenly he threw everything!!
Actually he started all over with his ex-gf.
I choosed to end my sister&brother to forget him. But, at that time I really loved him.

August 2008
Finally I forgot him. I walked on my own life, and he did too.
I started all over with him. He tried to talk to me and I tried to answer his question.

November 2008
I dunno why. But suddenly he won't talked to me.
At that time, I still too child so I didnt care why he wont talked to me!

December 2008
I'll be on vacation! And I'll have a farewell party in my house.
I invited him, but he didn't come!

January 2009
Time passed so fast!
In Karina's house, I made a peace with him.
I felt so missed him and wanna talk to him again :D


May 2009
A year, right?
After a year he'd never talked to me about his privacy life, finally he talked to me today!
I didn't understand. Why he didn't care when his gf knew that I'm standing close with him?
Even the truth is I really missed him. But actually I still afraid if his gf angry to me again!
But, when I saw in his eyes, I felt that he really needs someone to hear his life.
To show his life.
And he choosed me to be the person who'll hear his life.

Maybe he missed me too. Haha :D
He told me everything that he could tell!
It was too long I cant hear about his life and I knew I really really missed him.

Firstly I couldnt believe that he really told me. Cause when I'm in the sister&brother relat, he'd never told his lofelife to me.
And that was the first time he really told me his lovelife! Hahaha
I'm happy.

When friends called me and him to not too close and long to talk each other.
But he said, "never mind, I called you. I wanna talk to you now!"
I really thought that he really needs me, as his listener.

Alhamdulilah now I dont have any special feeling to him.
So I told him that I EVER loved him and do you know his respons?
Chlucked.
Dare!